BeautifulDisaster

too QUIET =(

2009-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

I hear what you're not saying
It's driving me crazy
It's like we stopped breathing in this room
We're both the last to be leaving
I know what you're thinking
I wish you'd make your move
It's like you know where I'm going
We go home together
But I never invite you in conversation
I see what you're not showing
I've got you alone but
The air is so still, it's weird
What's taking so long?
Don't tell me you're not gonna try
The tensions building in my mind
I wanna scream and I know why
It's much too quiet in here
I wanna disapear
Im hearing myself thinking too clear
It's too quiet in here
Make it all go away
Why can't we break this silence finally
Make it all go away
It's too quiet in here

LIVE LOVE MOVE ON

2009-07-09T09:22:00.001-07:00

Few lines of Lyrics by Taylor Swift from "I'd Lie"

represented my state of mine before today:

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on?
Doesn't he know I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you

He'd never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"
So I put on my make up and pray for a miracle

And if you asked me if I love him
If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

TODAY , this song is dedicated for him and i hope this crush wont fluctuate ever again:

Why did I ever like you
What did I see
Whatever it was must have been some kind of illusion
A Magic trick on me

I tried to be zane
I've even asked all my friends
To help my let it slide
But all I see is your face
In my favorite place
And I can't help but wonder why

Tell me why did I
Why did I ever like you
What did I see
Whatever it was must have been some kind of illusion
A Magic trick on me

Kitty-ing

2009-07-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

If I close my eyes, the best world I can imagine’s full of rainbows, smiles and sunny music… if I open my eyes and press the “play” button, this dream’s become true!

Enjoy watchin’ this hyper-cute baby Hello Kitty video my dear friends, let pics and music surround your heart and soul!

When I’m bored I sing with Kitty-chan like a rock star and the world starts shinin’… ’ =(^.^)=

Beautifully Disastrous Footwear

2009-06-30T05:28:00.002-07:00

Belle Disastre Part I

Last time it was a pair of Reebok shoes (one with hot pink shoelace and the other one with blue shoelace AND they look okay to me, and I was somewhat quite proud to say that I was the only one who did that at school =))))

During holiday, I bought a new pair of shoelaces without knowing whether they will go well with my purple Nike..

They look so...

UNIQUE~ in a wrong way..hohohoho

I'm wearing it tomorrow to school (but there is 90% chance I will pon =p)

Dunno what others might comment about them =p

Well..

At least my Crocs are cute with its Hello Kitty and Strawberry ^^

Why I blog about my footwear(s)?

Well, people often judge me as sweet little childish girl based on my taste on fashion.

Some even think that I was trying to impress the boys. WTH!

They are partially mistaken me. I cant say that they are completely wrong because I'm trying to be modest here. LOL

What's so wrong about being fashionista (or some called me fashion disaster)?

Either way, it has nothing to do with my personality.

Hope you (you know who you are) understand.

When is Quarantine Better- When Not

2009-06-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been Quarantined?
Well, that's why I'm here writing this blog

Quarantined means being isolated because of disease.
I am suspected of carrying H1N1 virus to Singapore meanwhile Singapore cases are larger than Indonesia's.

Wasting my last one week holiday here make an idea pop up : What are the joy and the sad of being quarantined?

Being quarantined means food comes to you three times a day, sometimes four.
You dont need to worry you spend a cent on food, furthermore you will be stuffed everyday.
The remarkable serving Madam Tan give to me is the privilege of having appetizing supper like chicken mushroom soup, red tea, and fruit salad..=) which normal healthy (I assume that they are healthy) boarders may not be so lucky to have them.
However, I'm getting nearer and nearer to the weight checking DAY!
Tough club seems ineveitable. Im not eating tomorrow (Hopefully)

This isolated room is located at the top right corner of 4 storey-high Anglican House.
The laundry is located at the left corner of the ground floor.
NEED I SAY MORE?!

I will be MISSING ECONS AND MATHS MYE!
Oops,I hope i didnt sound like I was pleased about it.

My life consists of four things everyday:
Eating: 30%
Sleeping : 30%
Gaming: 35%
Studying : Less than 1%

What is the extra 3% for? Well I wish I had such good memory.

This afternoon, when i was playing the addictive The Sims 3, peeping at my fellow roomates (S&C) who were sleeping, somehow I was influenced to stop playing and slept.

Now, they are doing the same thing. Haha. I guess i have to stop blogging.
I am not going to waste my time repeating my mistake. I will just close my eyes and play hide and seek with reality ( hopefully I wont be caught by the Dream)

XXX

2009-04-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

dear Diary,

You shoud know...

What discipline really means and why I hate it!

You know how people keep saying "discipline" is good? Well, they should go look the word up in a dictionary first :)

The word discipline means something like this:

"practice of forcing the acceptance of absolute (no way around them) rules of behaviour on other people; ability to behave and work in a limited and restrained (being held back) manner where someone else has power over you".

Where did I get that from?

Here's what my little dictionary has to say about the word "discipline":

discipline n. practice of imposing strict rules of behaviour on other people; ability to behave and work in a controlled manner; branch of learning.

The underlined words up there make a big difference... check them out:

impose v. force the acceptance of; take unfair advantage of.

strict adj. stern or severe; adhering closely to specified rules; complete, absolute.

controlled v. have power over; limit or restrain; regulate.

Put it all together, and you get something like the meaning at the top of this page.

And you thought all that dictionary work in school was useless :)

Why did I do all this? Well, because there seems to be the assumption that there should be more discipline in schools, and that disciplined people are good people. Disciplined people may or may not be good people, but it seems more as if discipline is something we should NOT want to have too much of, or even much of at all. Sure, disciplined kids won't shoot up the school. They won't steal people's stuff. But when it gets to the point that kids are considered to be good and disciplined when they have an antenna on their heads and teachers can make them do stuff via remote control, then we know something is not right.

Forget "discipline", forget those unnecessary rules that nobody can give a reason for, and simplify everything back to plain "right" or "wrong" - "wrong" being anything that can hurt another person, take advantage of them, or infringe their rights in any way, and everything else being either "right" or just "okay".

We humans are way too imperfect and not understanding enough to be trusted with the power of "disciplining" others.

Quote of the day
"Teachers, parents, and government officials often regard [young] people who refuse to submit to their authority as annoying and dysfunctional because we demand freedom every time they deny it." - Diane Krauthamer

2009-04-08T07:41:00.001-07:00

LOve Poem for my GP essays and PI

My vision is clouded by tears in my eyes.
I used to think that visions of us were my only paradise.
Just looking at you two, makes tears flow from my eyes.
You only see me as an idiot,
But how can that be, because our road to success hasn’t even begun.
Many things with you have gone wrong in the past.
I sometimes find myself daydreaming about your deadly complexity,
And you know I "hate" you, but not this much.
I feel overwhelmed in sadness and have become so consumed
I don’t know how to say I wanna be without you 'so much' that I don’t know how to start,
But as each day goes by I wish you would give your 'answer key'.
Sometimes I wish I could dream forever,
Then that way we’ll always be more cooperative.
Unfortunately though, I wake up,
And I hate how reality always seems to suck.
At school it’ll be just another day
Another day that I’ll try to suppress my feelings for you away.

2009-04-02T02:23:00.000-07:00

Dear diary,

i wonder why my JC life is too "colourful"...

(in wrong unimaginable ways)

Hari pertama:

Manusia berambut jamur yg terkenal dng hasil SAT nya yg sempurna...(bukan kata saya, tp katanya) nge add gw di ruang bersimbang n dy bilank gw super ****... (freak out dhe lgsg)

i feel inferior talking to sum1 yg level inggris nya menjulang...(ga bisa bayangin kl kita bnran ngmg face to face)

Hari kedua:

sesorang tidak d knal tiba2 menghampiri ku dan "merebut" squash raket ku...

n mengayun ayunkannya...(meanwhile gw uda cengok minta ampun)

n said "knapa ni berat banget?" ( mentang mentang dy ank pingpong)

then...

untung si I van dtg ,, jadi keadaan sudah tidak begitu menegangkan lagi..

lalu dy menanyakan nama ku..

Amelia..

he: A-m-e-l-i-a?

yea.

he: A-m-e-l-i-a?

ya ya ya. (-_-)

"lu ga mau tau nama tmn tmn yg laen?"

one of my annoying and irritating friend said "lu ga mau tau nama kita, cmn mau tau nama dy (me) kan?"

he: Yea, TOTALLY (dng nada yg undescribeable ampe gw ngakak saking swt nya)

gathering yg td nya cmn buat ank indo jadi gagaL...

mau nya pergi k library buat bel , gw malah k kantin gr gr salting..>.<

hr ke3... (the worst)

i was "salting" like a retarded girl who just got out from a mental institution when i saw someone i scared of.

one of the most embarassing part: jedug jedug in kpala d dpn umum, including dy...(@ bus stop)...

if u want to hear the complete story, please do email me at clumsygirl@hotmail.com

most recommended for those who dont have something to laugh at..

the true story was so great and amazing till my hostel mates replayed the scenes after general meeting, somehow ngrasa kl clumsiness gw bisa jadi penghiburan buat org org...(brusaha mencari silver lining dr bencana bencana yg telah terjadi T.T)

PS:cant believe i LOST my COOL too much already...

2009-03-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

Everyone has got a secret side
A winding path up to a door that's open wide
You think you know me but I'm changin' all the time

Cause I wanna be sweet, but I wanna be wild
If I wanna find my own style
So, I make a mistake, then I do it again
But I do it the best way that I can
This is me..

Sometimes life is a confusing thing
And when I talk it seems like no one's listening T.T
Try to be an angel, but I just can't find my wings

But this is me...

More than what you see
Finding out who I can be...

2009-03-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

A random personality test:

Sweet Girly

You are the extreme opposite to an action woman: you are sweet, you love pink and glitter. Everyone who sees you sees a totally and perfect styled little girl - daddy's little girl maybe. Boys are drawn to you automatically. But they have no respect. They play with you. It's hard for you to find a boy who is willing to risk a serious relationship. You have a lot of friends, but most of them are girls just like you. You also have a lot of shallow contacts. Maybe you are very dependent on your parents. You are always so squeaky and happy and lovely when others are near - but that's only a mask. A mask that covers all your sadness, desperation and self-doubt. One day you will make someone very happy, but untill then you have to learn to love yourself and be the person you are supposed to be.

No, this cant be me...

2009-03-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Liburan Maret yang tidak santai seperti liburan biasanya akan segera berakhir, guess that I have to "nyontek" PR again..
It's not a bad idea though..
Berikut ini adalah manfaat-manfaat daripada menyontek:
1. Menyehatkan otot-otot mata
2. Meningkatkan kreatifitas
3. Meningkatkan sosialitas antar teman
4. PR dijamin selesai and bagus
5. Melatih kecepatan gerak tangan
6. Bisa jadi anak favorit guru
7. Bisa menggunakan waktu tersisa untuk maen game atau menulis blog ini.
Oleh kerana itu sangat dianjurkan bagi generasi sekarang yang memasuki era globalisasi untuk menerapkan kebiasaan menyontek. Sekian.

2009-03-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

5 hours left before I reach there...

. . . . . . . . . . .

You left. I mean you didn't. You're gone.. Forever. I got so tired. Upset. I did cried. But now.. I can breathe again, dream again. Now I feel free again, so innocent. And someone will make me whole again. For sure. I decided to let go. Coz there is nothing to hold on to anymore. Your promises. They just fade away. I'll be whole again. I'll let go. Even right now, i'm having a hard time to let go. But time will heal me. It will make me whole again. And this time, I can say proudly. He left me, but I don't care. Because I'm whole again. And I'll find another you.

2009-03-13T18:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

I found it easy to pretend that we're not heading for our end
that's why I'm telling you..
I built a wall..
I cut you off..
Now there's no lies that's gonna fix this up
Now there's no-one but myself to blame
That you're gone....

When every word that you said
I can't know how I could believe
And you've pushed me away till I was way beyond me

I know I am lonely without you, but there's no fight left in me
I have broken down all the walls you slowly built around me

Why did you ask for my trust?
When you're not worthy of it?
I found it hard to adjust to the lines you're drawing for me.

A&N-- the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

2009-03-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

=) ♥ Hepi Bday MOM !
=( ♥ White Day =(
--I wonder how's he doing -- cant Imagine a "him and her"

It's cold inside

2009-03-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

Going back to Surabaya reminds me of him.
I am afraid I will accidentally meet him..

with another girl...which is my friend..

will he pretend not knowing me?

Can he tell that I fake my smile?

I'll just smile and walk away...

Why we lovers, end up like strangers?